Cinco de Mayo

"I hope we have enough tequila"
We have to start freezing these
Someone put up the bandera
Let's get some Tejano playing
Then we can get cleaned up

¿Quieres Chiclets?

"That is one fine guayabera"
Go grab the sombreros
You look like a fucking tourist
Let's try the margaritas
Tonight's gonna be good

¿Quieres Chiclets?

"What the fuck guys?"
Lay off the margaritas
Just follow the lights
Red, white, and green
And you'll find the beer

¿Quieres Chiclets?

"No, no, no, lemme show you!"
This is how you play the maracas
To alternative country music
They go so well with that twang
But you gotta play them right

¿Quieres Chiclets?

"Salt, tequila, lime"
That's your refrain
Gather 'round everyone
You've no choice in the matter
Lick your wrists!

¿Quieres Chiclets?

"The margaritas are doneskies!"
Oops, the keg too
Time to learn something new
Salt, whiskey, lime just isn't the same
Tonight ain't gonna be good

¿Quieres Chiclets?

"I need $1000 by Monday"
Have some used electronics
Or maybe some stolen neon
Andy is going to flip his shit
When he finds this surprise

¿Quieres Chiclets?

"We're going to Ruchi's!"
Dude, take off the sombrero
This service sucks
The waitresses are making faces
They don't enjoy my festiveness

¿Quieres Chiclets?

"It's SEIS de Mayo, bitches!"
That kiddie pool sure is tempting
Joseph will never see me coming
Goodnight moon, goodnight cell phone
I hope to see both your lights come back tomorrow